PTSD & TBI- What I've learned

I dream of giving birth to a child who will ask, "Mother, what was war?"

-Eve Merriam 

If you know me, you know that I have passion for a few things in life. My daughter, music, art, many things. All of those are beautiful things. But there is something in my life that I have passion for that isn't beautiful. It's ugly. Very ugly.

Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and traumatic brain injury (TBI) are two things that I've come to know on many different levels. My first encounter with it was in a book. Studying psychology brought it to me and instantly I was hooked. I found it interesting and worth more of my time. This dream of working with veterans of all ages started to form and grow into something amazing. 

I then met K & I realized that this dream is within reach. I since started my own volunteer ran organization that is dedicated to raising awareness for military PTSD & TBI. Two things that I think are continually being swept under the carpet. When I started it, I didn't think that it would make as much of an impact on me as it has. I started receiving e-mails from veterans speaking of this 1000 yard stare and how their lives have crumbled since war, death and fighting. Some of these courageous families were able to pick up the pieces and win the battle against PTSD...some were not.

So here is what I've learned from PTSD & TBI.

War is so much more than most of us can comprehend. I thought I had a decent grasp on it but until I met Kristopher, & I learned I was totally wrong. These men and women go to a foreign place and fight for a country that doesn't even know their name. I learned that I could never do what they do. 

The biggest thing I learned is that not all wounds are visible. We assume that they must be okay if they come back in one piece. A lot of people forget about these troops, the ones who have left the battlefield..but the battlefield wont leave them. 

I've gotten e-mails from people saying what I'm doing is "wonderful" or "inspiring". But there is nothing I can do that is more inspiring than what our men and women in uniform do. I hope to be half the person that some of those people are someday. I learned that I'm ready to be the change that I wish to see in the world. 

And maybe one day, Ellie will ask me what war was.