Just Another Day

“Don't pray for lighter burdens, but for stronger backs.”

I wrote this note on facebook not too long ago. And I thought I would share it. It wraps up how I'm feeling. 

I miss him and I'm fighting a battle right now. A battle I WILL win, but it's tough. For many reasons, maybe even too many to explain. We're both preparing for this deployment in different ways. I just want it to be April already. 

Here it is:

"I've been involved in the Military lifestyle for sometime now. Most of my life. 

It all started with my father. A Marine. Once a Marine, Always a Marine, he still says.

Well, in my 23 young years of life I've come across some of the most amazing people. Some people I've built a family with. My Military Family.

Now, you must understand that these bonds aren't like anything else. It's hard to fully explain but they build so quickly & grow so strong. I've learned many things from these wonderful people. How to be patient even through the worst times, how to take the bad and turn it into something amazing and most importantly, how to love with all my might. And they've taught me the true meaning of what it means to live & love like there is no tomorrow.

A few of my friends have lost their loved ones to war, to spiteful acts & to other's selfish deeds. I've been fortunate enough to say that I have not lost a close loved one to war. 

I look through their pictures, watch their videos and see the faces of these young people. I stare into their eyes and hurt inside. Knowing that the person who loved them so very much will never look into those eyes again, never kiss those lips again or simply touch their skin again. Pain, hurt and sadness hit me. But then, anger. 

I'm angry at all those times I was upset at him for some small, stupid reason. Angry at all the couples who take advantage of having their loved one near & alive. I'm mad that it would take one simple bullet, one explosion, one wound to strip that person from us. In a heart beat they can be gone.

If they can be gone in a heart beat, why does it take us so long to realize how much we love them or to show them so.

I don't know about you, but I don't want to wait till it's too late to show Kristopher how much he means to me. If something were ever to happen to either one of us, I want to look back and say we loved each other wholeheartedly. 

So, to those who have lost a loved one, thank you. Thank you for letting me learn through your hardships, for seeing what I have in front of me & for teaching me to love with all my heart and all my might. I refuse to live like I'm above death & war. Because in all reality, I could be gone tomorrow."